Just ask God!

The need to drink was clear, the reason for it all has always escaped me, and the desire was taken away years ago by a loving God.  

What we need most

Without courage and faith the bottle is sure to kill us every time.

The reason i drank

If only to blind myself from who I was and how I felt was the reason I put you first and foremost.

The stranger within

If I pass you by on the street it is because I do not know you.  For I do not even know myself.  The bottle would never allow it.

About prayer

The best advice I ever got regarding prayer was "to pray early, pray often".  I owe my sobriety to this solid wisdom. 

Prayer

When I prayed everything around me stayed the same but something inside changed.  That something was a enough to get me by when alcohol came calling.

Those we hurt most

Those who were closest to me are the one's I hurt the most.  And that will forever haunt me.  The painful reach of alcohol is long and often times everlasting.

Going GOD!

At my lowest moment I knew if I were to survive I needed power beyond my own efforts.  That is when I walked away from the bottle and turned to God.

Choices

Drunkenness, insanity, prison, death, recovery or sobriety were my only options 16 years ago.  The choice was all mine!

Poetic

And when I come home I will leave the bottle at the door,
and know for years I had no more.
My mind is clear,
my spirit does soar.
Alcohols influence is long and far away.
Without it I easily survive each day.

Thank you!

Thank you for helping me by allowing me to help you.  When we listen from the heart and share from the soul the desire to drink diminishes greatly.

Sobriety

Sobriety is the seldom visited side of alcoholism. 

Drunken law

The beginning of the end is also called the first drink.

Last call

If we meet again in hell is alcohol to blame? 

Thats just the way it is

Hopelessness is the inability to see, feel or experience love.  Alcohol breeds hopelessness.   

The beginning of the end

Thoughts of suicide came from years of living on the edge.

Senseless

Life was hard to swallow, yet alcohol was easy to gulp.

Lost and found

Where did I go for those two decades and who was I with?  My memory belonged to a substance greater than myself.

Drink and drive

To drink and drive is like pointing a loaded gun directly in the face of your mother.    

A question

If alcohol was the problem I certainly was not the solution.

A place I'd rather forget

I found myself in a very ugly place with a bottle in my hand.  That place was habit and I had been there way too long!

No more, no less

Alcohol was never a good fit in my life.  It overflowed and consumed me from day one. 

Certain doom

I roam in search of who I am with alcohol as my guide.

Where am I ?

Somewhere between failure and euphoria there must be peace.  Show me that peace oh Lord!

The struggle

I can't stop after a few drinks.  It's called alcoholism.  I can't stop myself from making daily blunders.  It's called Jay Kolo.  The more I have things under control, the more I fumble and stumble.  All I know is that it has been a GREAT day if I stay away from alcohol.  I have had 16 GREAT years (blunders and all). 

Come and struggle with me on a daily basis.  Together we can accomplish and overcome. 

Death

Death is never far.  Death is confusion, guilt or maybe just loneliness.  Death is the inability to say no.  death is unable to say when. Death is close even after sixteen years.  That first drink is last step.  At least for me to drink is ultimately death!  

Darkness

Nothing but darkness and my twisted thoughts.  That is the hell otherwise known as...
A-L-C-O-H-O-L-I-S-M!!!

Something was wrong!

Thirty-four years old, no job, no bank account, no car, no drivers license, no food and no hope.  The only thing I had plenty of was alcohol.  Yeah, I would say that something was wrong although I did not see it.  Alcohol has a way of doing that to people.  By the time we find out it is usually too late:( 

Time speaks

Time will tell where the bottle takes you physically and emotionally.  A few days of drinking are fun, thrilling, warm, often romantic and loaded with surprises. 
A few decades of drinking are full of decay, deceit, hate, anger, loneliness, depression and the inability to see yourself as you really are.

Somewhere in between is the last chance to turn around before the occasional drink rips away your sanity and takes you to a place so low that death becomes an attractive option.     

The road

The road to sobriety starts in recovery.  I spent about 90 days in a treatment center and halfway house.  However, I spent about 4 years in recovery.  Recovery is a frame of mind.  It is what you have to go through to ultimately stay away from the bottle permanently.  Recovery is all about becoming acquainted with who you were before your first drink.  It is about picking up the pieces and moving on.  It is about tears, fear and leaving behind all of your anger.  Recovery is tough and gruelling.  But a well worked recovery will take you to a place so sober that alcohol has no place to hide, exist or tempt.

The time has come

The time has come for me to once again get active on this blog.  Sobriety has become as natural as breathing. That wasn't always the deal.  For over twenty years I was a fall down, desperate, hopeless drunk.  I was obsessed with only one thing.  THE NEXT DRINK!!!  The first drink was the one that got me thinking about the next drink.  The next drink never happened because I was always busy finishing up the one that would take me to the next one.  Drinking was my life.  Drunkenness was my existence.  I have been sober since August 10th, 1995.  Stay close by and find out how. 
The time has come for you to get sober too!!