The journey

The journey is better when the bottle stays home.

The truth

The truth is I lied almost all the time when I drank. The part that scares me is that I believed all of those lies.

What a difference

I stumbled upon alcohol and I threw myself into recovery

The real me

Who I am, who I was and who I will become will always revolve around my relationship with alcohol.

I drank alone

The magic of drinking alone appealed to me in a very frightening way.

The way it was

We who do not need inspiration are most surely addicted to alcohol.

I'll quit tomorrow

Enough was never enough and tomorrow never came.

Stranger

I don't know who I am when I drink and I never got to know you.

No love loss

Alcohol I love you less today than ever before.

Courage

You never think you have the courage to sober up. BUT YOU DO!!

I see

I see conflict. I drink and I become conflict. Drama is my lifestyle.

So long ago

My last drink was so long ago that I rely on you to remind me never to take a drink again...ever!

Me!

I'm the problem and when I turned to alcohol I buried the problem and created new problems.

Difficult?

It is harder to be a drunk than it is to be sober. The truth is there are no easy roads.

Heavy

Heavy drinking was the only drinking I did.

Clueless

When I didn't know what to do or how to feel I drank heavily. And that my friends was a big mistake.

Run & hide

Blackout was s place I once adored.

Trapped

I sat, I cried, I drank. I was stuck and I didn't know what else to do.

Saturday nights alright

It's Saturday night and its getting late. Do you know where your sanity is?

A new beginning

Sick and tired of being sick and tired is an opportunity for a new beginning.

The formula

Love, live and give leaves no room for a drink.

Helping

Helping others is the best part of not taking a drink.

Clarity

Everything has a way of working out when the focus is on sobriety.

Balance

Day and night. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Agenda

I'll never catch my breath. Sobriety keeps me too busy.

Not so bad

My worst days sober are better than I could have ever hoped for.

I lost

I lost my friend of twenty years. He kept me company day and night. Without him I have hope and the misery is now far away. And that's why it's okay.

In God I failed to trust

Without a clue and without hope I put my trust in you.

Not so happy hour

I walk away from everything and spend all of my waking moments taking you in. I do this for too many years.

We are

We are real and successful and giving. But all of that remains on hold until we are able to put the bottle away permanently.

Can

Sobriety doesn't come in a can. But with courage and an honest recovery sobriety can happen.

It's all here

I like where I'm at. I know where I'm at and I no longer need alcohol to get where I'm going.

Life changing

My first and last drink were both life changing. In between I remember very little.

Big drunk

My biggest drunk lasted nearly twenty-two years with a few breaks of sleep and misery in between.

Debt

Alcohol owes me twenty years. If robbed me of a lot of time.

Story time

Life should be more than a tragic ending and painful memories.

Hope

Someday may not be today or even tomorrow but someday eventually happens now.

Run and hide

I never ran. I didn't hide. I just jumped into a bottle of alcohol and stayed there for 20 years.

Journeys way

We are all equals at different parts of the journey.

The journey

I will go straight to the top and represent those who are temporarily at the bottom.

Suicide

I was there. The insanity had backed me into a corner. Years of drunkenness came crashing down upon me. Suicide seemed the only way out. Death was near.
But I could not find the courage. Too afraid to live and too cowardly to die.

Overindulge

Everything is missing when I attempt to have it all.

Coping skill

To deal with an emotion of any kind I would need alcohol. I definitely developed a psychological dependence for the stuff. Drunkenness was the only coping skill I knew.

No desire

I would often find myself drinking when I had no desire for a drink what so ever. Drinking evolved into a destructive bad habit, a way of life. Over time it was all that I knew how to do.

People

Staying sober requires courage, commitment and prayer. But most of all staying sober requires being surrounded by people who care, understand and remain judgement free.

Cocaine

Cocaine spent the entire summer with me long ago. It took away what little life remained after alcohol's fury.

The journey

The edge of glory is miles away from the liquor store.

Just in time

I found sobriety just in time. May you all be as fortunate as I was:)

Say what?

I aspire to die a drunk said no one ever.

Reflection

I think about what it used to be like every time I look into your eyes. Our stories parallel in misery.

Got job?

We are all too overqualified to live in daily drunkenness.

Give and take

Giving love, feeling love and getting by better than I could have ever imagined.

So long

It's been so long since my last drink that the only link I have to misery is my past and your current desire to drink.

Happy hour

Happy hour quickly faded into the darkness of the night which ultimately surrendered to mornings remorse.

The art of word

The inspiration of poetic beauty is what helped me arrive at sobriety's door.

Can you relate?

I never had a relationship with myself until I ended my relationship with the bottle.

Feel the beat

Sobriety definitely has a pulse. Drunkenness was so lifeless.

Prayer

The only thing that kept me sober at my darkest moments was prayer. 2am, 8am or high noon. It did not matter. Prayer is anytime, free, personal, powerful and it saved my life!

My best

My best starts when alcohol is no longer a part of my life. Until I separate myself from the desire to drink I will never know what my best is.

Blackout

A place that is haunting, dangerous and just downright insane. Too many nights of my life were spent in a blackout.

Me, me, me

I never needed a drink as much as I wanted a drink. It went on like this for two decades. It was always about me!

The pretender

My life was coming apart. I was out of control, my thoughts ran wild, my emotions were fried and for a long time I calmly sipped my drink as if everything was alright.

Bad choices

Bad choices kill the spirit, the future, dreams and sometimes people.
For me even one drink was a bad choice:(

Changing the future

The wreckage of my past is unfortunately someone else's future.
The time to sober up is now.

Grateful in a big way

Too much gratitude to fit all in one room.

Joyful

If I were any less sober I would have control of my joy.

Book news

I'm have decided to put off writing anther fictional novel and instead follow my true passion and write another book of poetry.
More details to come.

Every now and then

Every now and then bring drunk was fun. But the majority of the time it was a miserable necessity.

Foggy

I attempt to see who I am in the mirror but the fog of my disease distorts my view.

Cold

Nothing is as cold as the loneliness that accompanies years of alcohol abuse.

Today

I didn't drink or drive drunk. I know where I've been and I know where I'm going to wake up.
Not a bad day at all.

Constant motion

Sometimes I can't stay in one emotional spot too long. It must be part of who I am. I remember it always being that way. God and prayer keep me grounded on the big things, but as far as the little things I guess I'm on my own.

Getting it right

The thing about life is that it takes a lifetime to get it right.

Don't quit

Don't quit five minutes before the miracle!! This was probably the greatest advice that was ever given to me when I was in early recovery.

On a clear day

On a clear day I can see forever. On a day that I'm hungover I can't see at all.

I'm sick

I'm sick, angry and emotionally unbalanced and the last thing I need is alcohol making me even more of a monster.

Alone

Alone with my thoughts was a dangerous and terrifying place to be. The only place I could find any comfort from this kind of terror was the bottle.

Brink

I find myself on the brink as I face certain challenges and setbacks. Yet even though I am being pushed to the limit a drink is the furthest thing from my mind.

Hey you

No matter how dark and hopeless it may seem things have a way of working out!! A little faith, patience and prayer is what it usually takes.

My gift to you!

My book "HOUSE ON PADDOCK LANE" will be available for FREE download FRIDAY through Sunday at the following link...
http://www.jaykolo.com/books/hpl.html

Not much to say

Just another day jammed in between a lot of other days. No drama, no set backs, no depression or pain.
Just s day.

How it be

It be like this! When I drank; fear, defensiveness, anger and violence ruled my nights.
Since I've sobered up; discovery, new awareness, acceptance and homage dominate my day.

Twisted logic

The sober I get the drinker I less.

Trust

I trusted the bottle to get me through hell. It just dropped me off there and left me for dead.

Life is good

Life ain't what it used to be and I have God to thank for that.

Much to say

I have so much to say, but I don't always know how to say it. Putting God's grace into words is a difficult assignment.

Humility

The stronger and more independent I become the more I need to be humbled.

Pleasure

The pleasure I discovered the very first time I drank eluded me for the next two decades. Had I only known!

Such pleasure and meaning

Sobering up has brought with it such a level of pleasure and meaning that I never expected nor do I feel I deserve.

Killer drink

Alcohol doesn't kill. People like me allow it to slowly put us to death and too many times we do nothing about it.

Remorse

The worst part of each drinking episode was the painful remorse that followed me the morning after. There was no escaping its nauseating grip.

A time to serve

The way I see it we are either being served alcohol or serving God. The two cannot exist harmoniously in my life.

$$$

During my 22 years of drinking I conservatively figured that alcohol cost me around $220,000. That is a lot of money down the toilet.

A reason for hope

I had no reason to think life would ever get better other than the hope, that my next drink, would lead me away from the daily drama and misery that had become my life.
Of course we know that never came to pass.

Discovery

Discovery is the main cog during recovery. Getting to know who we were before alcohol took over is critical in realizing who we actually are.

Gratitude

I am the product of many people caring about me when I didn't. And for that I will always be grateful.

Act I

I was the main act in a show that only I attended. Alcohol gave me top billing while society showered my behavior with negative reviews.

If I could turn back the clock

If I could turn back the clock would time be on my side? Would tears I caused dry up and be replaced with joy? The torment of moments eluded shall forever haunt me so I turn my focus in towards future moments yet to arrive.

Who am I?

A question that tormented me hundreds of times while I was under the influence of alcohol.
A question that was never answered until sobriety became my main stay.

Gods grace

If it wasn't for Gods grace I would have ended up a painful memory to the few who loved me 17 years ago.

Lying all the day long

I survived by lying to everyone I knew and especially to myself. My life was such a collection of lies that when I got into recovery I didn't even know who I was!

Responsibility

I could not be responsible for how much or how often I drank, but at some point I needed to be responsible for getting help from those who knew better than I.

Get moving

Put down the bottle, get into recovery, get your sanity back and jump into sobriety.

Decision time

We have to decide at some point whether we are going to allow sobriety or drunkenness to dominate the majority of our waking moments.
If we put it off drunkenness will most certainly win out.

Take one less drink

From now on take one less drink. Make it the first one.

All I know

I know no other way but to drink until I can't take another drop. I drink at a speed of 100mph. That is why I drink no more.

My books free to you

I have extended the free download offer until January 5th. To download my two most popular books free of charge please visit...
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The Lord

The Lord is my Shepard I shall not want.
Alcohol is my executioner from which I have nothing.

Big

I am bigger than the bottle. It took me 22 years to realize that.

A constant battle

With alcohol out of the picture the only battles we ever really have are with ourselves

Crossroads

Dying for a drink. Living for a chance to become sober.

New Year

Alcoholism has no calendar, time or space. The misery of years past quickly becomes a part of current time.
A way out does exist through others who have conquered the curse of the bottle.

Happy 2013

May sobriety chase you down and make you it's constant companion!