Recovery

Without alcohol I knew I could become somebody.  Recovery gave me the courage and direction to find out who that somebody was.

Complete honesty

Complete honesty is one of the greatest coping skills that creates distance between us and that ever dangerous first drink.

What it is...

Recovery teaches us how to live without alcohol.  Sobriety makes us wonder how we ever lived with alcohol!

Joy

I gave myself to alcohol and got nothing but misery in return.  Before it was too late, I found the courage to get up on my knees and introduce myself to GOD.  I felt my misery disappear along with the desire to drink.  Within no time at all, a new companion, became a constant in my life.  That companion was joy.
Thank-you GOD for guidance, love and most of all joy.

Prayer of recovery

For all the times I lied, I'm sorry.
For all the times I shouted, I'm without words.
For all the times I hurt those I love, I hurt ten times worse.
For all the times I stole, I'm ashamed.
For the gift of sobriety I'm more grateful than words can ever describe!!

Gifts

Sobriety was one of God's greatest gifts to me.  What I do with that sobriety is my gift back to Him.

5,640 days

5,640 days is a long time to go without a drink.  Especially since I would struggle to go even 5 days without one.  5,641 days ago my life was a complete disaster!   A dismal collection of drunkenness, fear, deceit and indecent thoughts, words and actions.  So dismal that I nearly ended it all.  So one moment, of one day, I threw my hands up in the air and shouted out to anyone or anything!!!  Little did I realize I was praying.  Praying for the first time in years.  1 day, 1 prayer has completely removed the desire to drink for the last 5,640 days.  But then again, who's counting?   

A dangerous place

One day I could no longer get drunk enough to silence the pain within.  That was the day alcohol abandon me.  I thought long and hard about suicide.  I quickly learned that I was too cowardly to die, yet I was to scared to continue living.  I was stuck in a horrible crevice between life and death.  I had no place to turn.  That was the night I found my creator.  That creator was God and I found out that night that He is always listening.  God heals when we are ready to lose our pain.

A quick thought...

Sobriety is free, but drunkenness will eventually cost you your life!

SOLUTION...

Pray early, pray often because it works, it brings you closer to God and farther from that disruptive first drink.

BECAUSE...

I follow God and try my best to serve Him because, at my lowest moment, I truly felt His presence when I reached out in prayer.  Too many years in drunken misery were spent trying this, that and everything in between.  When it became clear that time was running out I asked God to save me from the bottle and myself.  That was the last day I spent drunk and defeated.  God got my attention that day and everyday since then.

A time to drink

I drank when I was sad, anxious, lonely, happy and depressed.  I always drank.  I drank because after awhile it was the only thing I knew.  I did not know what a sober day felt like.  Over the course of time the occasional drink became an obsession.  Quitting felt like a distant planet or star.  It was something that I could not do on my own.  It took the help of others who shared my pain, fear and confusion!  I went to A.A. meetings and got angry on the inside.  I realize now, I was angry because deep down, I knew I was exactly like everybody in that room and alcohol would not allow me to admit that to myself!!   

Far from perfect...

After 15 years away from the bottle I am far from perfect, but I now operate out of love, where as in my drinking days everything I did was out of fear. 

Who I am

I found out what I was made of when alcohol was no longer my main ingredient.

SOLUTION

Asking God every morning to remove the desire to drink (for that day) is a great way to remain sober, while coping skills are being developed!

SOLUTION

When I thoughts of others more than myself the desire to drink greatly diminished!

Living the lie

Treatment for years was nothing more than a hot meal, a place to stay warm or hideout.  A secure hotel to quiet the buzz within my brain.  Treatment was never about recovery, until the day that the soothing effects of alcohol abandoned me.  That was when, I had to get away, from the person I had become. 
I woke up one morning and saw myself as others had seen me for years.  Recovery was the only option for survival.  It gave me the coping skills I needed to put permanent space in between me and the bottle. 
Treatment centers are not a place to hide out.  They are places that force us to see who we really are and how to co-exist with ourselves. 

This is what it's about

Drunkenness - recovery - sobriety.  If we find the courage to get into recovery eventually our efforts will take us to sobriety.

I have done very little...

I have done very little to stay sober for the past fifteen years.  I made a decision in 1995 to surrender and give my troubles to God.  He placed so many wonderful people in my path who showered me with hope, love and encouragement.  Now, it's time to give away what was given to me so freely.

A peaceful look

For years I had painfully remembered the look that came from my father when I showed up unannounced explaining that I, had been kicked out of the Navy.  I would see that look many more times over the next ten years or so.  That look was well deserved.  When I would choose to drink myself blind I would get that look from co-workers, employers, parents, friends, etc...

Years later however, by the grace of God I received a much different look from my Father.  It was a look that changed me forever.  A look I will never forget.  At the time, I had been sober for nearly six years.  I was now married, with two beautiful children.  Drama and dishonesty were no longer a part of my life.

As my father lay dying in a Central Florida hospital we had all gathered to see him one final time.  He was down to his final few minutes.  I took hold of his right hand and held it firmly hoping it would keep him from slipping away.  He then looked at me.  He said nothing.  He did not have to.  The look he gave me meant so much.  I felt his love and acceptance in my heart.  I knew that my being sober put him at peace and he conveyed that peace through his eyes.  He died moments later with that look on his face. 

Had I still been a drunk I don't know how I would have possibly handled his passing.  God was there when I asked to be sober on August 10th 1995.  God was also there on July 4th, 2001 when my father passed.  God is always there when we invite him into our lives!!

Responsibility

It might not be our fault that we can't stop drinking.  But it is our responsibility to find help!!!

The innocent

Sadly and tragically the long arm of alcohol too often destroys the innocent as well as the alcoholic. 

Not even close

Alcohols soothing effects are not even close to the warmth and security of God's presence!

HONESTY

If we are completely honest with ourselves and God no evil or addiction can survive within us.

The only one...

I drank because I could not stand myself.  I dropped out of school because nobody understood me.  My parents asked me to leave.  The military kicked me out too!  Employers fired me.  Longtime friends disowned me.  Girlfriends broke-up with me.  Society angered me.  My life was soggy and confusing.
Then, I unwillingly found God!  He understood, believed and blessed me with hope, comfort and love.  He was always there and will always be.  Through God's grace I found sobriety through the blessing of recovery!  

No end in sight

When I drank, killing myself was a dark, constant thought.  But to end it all abruptly would not have ended my alcoholism.  My alcoholism would have raged on in the hearts and memories of those who loved me most.  To live, struggle, fight and find permanent sobriety has given them more joy than I will ever realize.

One of the hardest things...

One of the hardest things an alcoholic will ever have to do is to quit drinking permanently.  The only thing harder is dying a drunk!

NOW!!

There are two directions we alcoholics can go.  Towards sobriety or towards our next drink.  The time to quit is NOW!!  Recovery and sobriety never, ever happen tomorrow.  When alcohol is in your thoughts and in front of you tomorrow never comes.