Very sober

Sobriety is so much a part of me I hardly even notice it anymore. 

Tireless

So little time to be tired when your sober. 

Shortcomings

I've remained sober despite being majorly flawed. 

Hidden

I have actually been able to remain in hiding most of my life. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. 

Sobriety

Sobriety is sometimes controlled chaos. 

Art form

Life in itself is an art form. Drunkenness is art unfinished and in disarray. 

How it came to be

Drunkenness, realization, honesty and accountability. 

Free fall

Very few of us can sober up while in a free fall. Rock bottom is sometimes the place to be. 

Alcohol...

Alcohol made me do things I didn't want to do:(

Replacement

For me daily prayer and being of service to others has replaced my desire to drink. 

I'm no doctor

I do not know if alcoholism is a disease or a disorder of the brain. 

What I do know is that alcoholism is disruptive. I lost over 22 years of my life to it:)

Silence

Just because I've had little to post the past few days doesn't mean I'm not still sober. 

Absolutely nothing

17 1/2 years sober means absolutely nothing if I drink again. 

Always

I'll always be a common fall down drunk. And that is exactly why I pray that I never take another drink. 

No quick fix

I always thought alcohol would fix me. As it turned out it just damaged me even more. 

Trade off

I get my sobriety by attempting to offer it to you. 

A thought

I often shake and cringe when I think about what life would be like if I were still drinking:(

There is a good chance I'd be dead (or in jail). 

Create

Sobriety allows me plenty of time to create whatever I choose. 

What do I do?

I am a married, 52 year old father of two home schooled children. I also blog, write fiction and poetry and I operate and run a photography business. And of course I have not missed a day at the gym in over 1200 days. 

Bi polar

With the days of alcohol long gone I have been found to have bi polar. I guess I was reaching for the bottle as a way to combat my disorder. 

Medication has been prescribed and so far things and feelings are quite well. 

18 years

There was a time I could not stay sober for eighteen days. Soon I'll have eighteen years. 

I have almost forgot how bad it was. 

Miserable

For me, to drink is to get drunk, and to get drunk is to eventually die miserable and without love. 

Always

I am a drunk who no longer drinks. 

One day at a time

One drink would turn tomorrow back into a lot of miserable yesterday's  That is why I live for today only. 

Either or

I despised the very thing I loved. That will always be the core of my illness

Substitute

I would often substitute sleep and food for alcohol. Anything for a buzz. 

Never

Never again to drink, never again to know misery. 

Who am I?

I had my first drink when I was 13. I had my last drink at the age of 34. In between I lied, cheated, cried, screamed, kicked and hurt everyone in my path. 

Drunkenness is ugly. 

The bottom

I've been to the bottom of every bottle. That is how I finally hit rock bottom. 

Alcoholism is like...

Trying to make believe everything is alright on my worst day.

Sanity

If I were anymore sober I'd be sane.

Go forth

Just an innocent sip and from this moment forward, life dramatically changes its course.

Alcoholism

A cycle so vicious death seems a viable option.

It's warm out today

Today is the first warm day we've had this spring. I always get a bit depressed on days like today. I used to start drinking heavy during the spring and it would continue well past Christmas.

21

Before the age of 21, I dropped out of high school, spent time in mental institutions, got into a drunken car crash, lost my drivers license and was kicked out of the military after serving just 14 months.
Alcohol had ruined my life even before I turned the legal drinking age.

Memories

No pain as bad as the pain of blackout and squandered finances.

A thought

If I don't stop drinking today will my past become my future?

Possibilities

For me nothing else is possible without sobriety.

Harmful

Every human crack and crevice does the harm of alcohol abuse fill.

When motivation wears off...

the power of daily prayer delivers.

I've learned...

after nearly 18 years without a drink that I CAN'T do it alone.

For some of us...

an early death is last call.

Alcoholism

Alcoholism is anything but routine. It's complete chaos!

Devastating

Between cradle and grave alcohol delivers a devastating blow.

Sobriety

I see the sun during the day, instead of dreaming about it in the darkness of the night.

Drunkenness

To drunk to remember anything else except the next drink.

Glass houses

A glass house with no stones. Alcohol is the only enemy I will ever need.

Time

I drink on a beautiful spring day, and awaken 8 months later in the dead of winter.
The loss of time and chill of remorse haunt me.

The killer within me...

is the reason I choose to pray everyday.
When I drink I can't be trusted.

Good

Sobriety is good, not easy.

Interruption

22 years if service to God and others was interrupted by alcohol.

One day...

one hour, one moment at a time.
Whatever it takes!

Excitement

Sobriety is a free man on a journey who's conclusion is uncertain.
To me that's thrilling.

Looking back

I see myself as I used to be and say why? I look at myself as I am now and say why did I wait so long?

Love

A mothers love need never be wasted on a drunken son.

Sobriety...

Is all about getting back to normal.

People

One day I ran out of people. I was alone on the streets with only the bottle.
That was a scary situation.

Remorse

Somewhere, right now, someone is waking up full of remorse.
It doesn't have to be that way.

Recovery

Sit tight and wait. Know this, sobriety shall come.

Rage

My rage only demonstrated the pain on the inside.

Drunkeness

Stay with me, stay with me and never let the bottle take me away.

Rags to riches...

Until alcohol took over.

Drunkenness

Hopelessness flows from the bottle.

Sobriety

I see myself now and wonder who was I way back when?

Sobriety

We're there once was a hole lies a mound of love.

I run

I run from myself, but the bottle catches me.

The first drink...

It's all we need to overcome.

The first drink

The wreckage of my past can be traced to the first drink.

Honesty

Honesty gets me where I need to be in recovery.

Pray

When I can't stand it anymore, I get down on my knees and pray.

Going nowhere

I travel nowhere in circles. Always clutching my drink.

Going for broke

I am a broken man with or without the bottle.

Who am I?

I had become a creation of my own abuse.

Darkness

From dusk until dawn my illness took me to rock bottom.

Alcoholism

Hardly a day goes by I'm not drinking or thinking about drinking.

Recovery

I seek the source of my pain without my friend the bottle.

The cycle

I hurt, I drink, I hurt.

Heartless

My heart cries out, and I drown it promptly.

One drink

My soul I sell, all for a drink.

Alcoholic journey

Far, far away is the person I used to be:(

Mess you up!

Drinking and alcoholism just don't mix.

Misery

The hell of alcoholism is a place with no doors.

Creation

That who I am does not include drunkenness.

Abuse

I more I abused alcohol, the more I abused myself.

Live long

Cheat death, quit drinking!!

False confidence

I walk tall, I live large because the drink allows me to do so.

Alcohol

A friend by my side, whom I refuse to let go, and all the while, he is killing me.

When I drank

I was out of control, traveling 90mph and ready to hit a wall.

Tough days

Some days the best you can do is put your hands in your pockets, your head down and just not drink!!

Sobriety

So often I think back on what was a drunken mess of a life. I now live my life in complete gratitude.

Letting go

I could feel my life ending in one hand, and a bottle of gin in the other.
I need to completely let go and let God, if I were going to survive.

I know this

I would not have still been drinking. I would be long dead.

Walk the line

Only one drink separates many from peace, joy and satisfaction. The distance between drunkenness and sobriety is often a very thin line.

Sobriety

I now hear laughter and love. I once heard darkness and panic.

God's Grace

I woke up one day sober. That was no accident.

Can't stand me

I could not take myself for an entire day. Drinking helped me cope.

Time

So little time to change. Too much time to drink.

Growth

I am a child in a mans body with a beer in my hand.
Alcoholism has taken away all emotional growth.

Nothing going on

I have no plans other than not to drink.

Dreams

From dreams shall nothing come if the bottle is to blame.

Stubborn

My life, my walk, my way, my addiction.

Alcoholism

A boy so young. A drink so innocent. And a man so confused by misery and addiction.

Just me

I roam sober with thick scars of past alcoholic bliss. My disorder shall always spell my name.

The way it was

I see who I am now and wonder how I survived under the bottles influence.

Sobriety

None too sober are those who serve others instead of themselves.

Drowning

Damned and defeated, I drank even harder. It was all that I knew.

New journey, new life

I look deep within and attempt to find out who I am. All I was when I drank was a servant to the bottle.

Take a trip

Alcohol took me to a great place. It was on the way back that I became disoriented and lost for days.

The journey

Opportunity wasted, memories lost. Spirituality realized, sobriety accomplished.

No more tears

I cry no more, for alcohol no longer owns my soul.

My first drink was unplanned and innocent. My last drink was unavoidable and necessary. In between were years of misery.

Grace

God's grace always takes away the desire to drink.

Glory

I see where man's glory begins and ends and I realize alcohol has no part in either.

Who we hurt

The innocent and those we love the most are hurt by our inability to stop drinking.

A sad song

Wasted and worried all week long.

False sense of security

I was never intimidated or ashamed when alcohol was flowing through me.

The wanderer

I wandered with a bottle in my hand wondering why, when, how and where I became this ugly mess.

You can't catch me

Run away, run away, the bottle is always chasing.

My resume

Lie, cheat, steal, drama, and constant drunkenness was what I was on my best day as a drunk.

Who knew

Who knew what that first drink would turn me into. A verbal abuser, full of obsession, anger, misery and remorse.

Bad timing

I needed someone or something. I crossed paths with alcohol at the wrong place and at the wrong time.

Creature of a bad habit

That first drink turned me into a creature I did not know.

Last call

Last call for life!

The way it used to be

I see the error of my ways and yet I still reach for another drink.

Who am I?

Life or death. Drink and die. This is my disease.

Straight talk

I swallowed my pride and stopped swallowing alcohol.

Reaching out

I drank alone and I sobered up with many.

Driving drunk

No matter what it takes, I selfishly take myself to the next drink.

My best friend

I get no where on a bright, sunny day and experience the bliss and torture of my best friend booze.

Impatient

Immediate gratification is booze in a bottle.

So much in common

Seldom do I see another alcoholic unlike me.

Going up

Each drink brought me closer to death. I got off at the bottom floor just in time.

Scattered thoughts

My mind is a collection of hope, remorse and willingness

One day at a time

I live everyday one drink away from glory or destruction.

Feelings

Put down the bottle and feel what I feel.

FROG

Fully Rely On God!!
That's sometimes the only option we have(and need)!

Mentally

Mentally I have all kinds of theories. But that's just the alcoholic part of me thinking out loud.

Drink up

Drink up is no longer music to my ears.

Be on the lookout

When you find something that matters, hold on tight!

Best of the worst

My best day as a drunk was elated misery at most.

I want not

I want not more than to live my remaining days a sober man.

Happy

Happy is he who loses his desire to drink.

A long reach

The long and destructive arm of alcoholism to often reaches the innocent.

After the bottle

Live, love, let go and laugh.

It's within us

Within myself I found the person who was able to live without a drink.

Happy Easter!!

From me to you!

Thankful

Nothing beats spending a special day with friends and family. Thank you sobriety!!

Freak out

I became a freak when I drank. All I could think about was my next drink while I was only half finished with the drink in front of me.

I shall not

The Lord is my Savior, I shall not want.

The miracle

The miracle of sobriety is the gift of life returning.

Grateful

Incredible things are happening in my life that would have been impossible if I was still drinking.

A.A

I did the A.A thing for about four years. Eventually it was time to get back into main stream society. A.A in my opinion is there to help build coping skills. Sooner or later we all need to go solo.

Talk to me

How can I help?
jay@jaykolo.com

People

People who need people generally stay sober.

Always aware

I like knowing where I've been and where I'm headed. Way back when that wasn't always the case.

Doing what feels right

Serving God today instead of myself.

Dirt

As long as your on this side of dirt sobriety is possible.

Satisfied

After a horrible bottom and 21 years of drunken misery sobriety is all I ever wanted. Anything from this day forth is a bonus.

Recovery

When drunkenness and sobriety collide it is called recovery.

Self destruction

No drink so small that it cannot cause self destruction.

Wrecked

I turned around and saw the wreckage of my past. I was ashamed that I had allowed alcohol to do this.

Recycle

Bottles & cans no more.

Strength

Strength comes from desperation. And most of us finally find it at the bottom of our last bottle.

The way I see it

None so blind as those who will not sober up.

Who knew

Who knew that my last drink would lead to 17 years of sobriety.
God knew that's who!

Think a little

Think a little, drink a lot. Story of my life.

Blessing

Today was a very ordinary day. Today was a blessing.

People

People who need people, are usually sober.
I could never have done it alone.

Take a knee

When you just can't STAND it anymore, get on your knees and talk to God.

More

More was never enough.

Which drink?

For me the first drink was the accomplice and the second drink was the killer.

Social skills

One of the toughest parts of sobriety was socializing. I just didn't know how to mingle without a drink in my hand.
It definitely takes time.

Will power

Will power is no match for alcohols fury.

Will power

Will power or lack of it was a big reason I hit rock bottom so hard.

Seldom

The seldom visited side is the side of alcoholism where few live. That side is better known as sobriety!

Relapse

Relapse is not part of recovery. It is just another word for getting drunk.

A little humor

One if my drinking habits was, that I seldom bought rounds.

Drunkenness

Drunkenness was my favorite hiding spot for many years.

52

I turned 52 the other day. I have taken a few days to myself to reflect. 52 was an age that was not even conceivable back when I was under the influence of alcohol. Back them all I did was get drunk and try to find the courage to end my life.

Beyond my grasp

I didn't just reach for the bottle because I was bored. I stretched beyond my grasp because I was hurt, scared and clueless.

Beware

Somewhere between sanity and tomorrow lurks that first drink.

Today

Recovery starts today. Tomorrow is nothing more than a big drunk followed by days of remorse.

Ingredients

The main ingredients for a successful, long term sobriety are hope, willingness, prayer, honesty and connecting with those who care and understand your situation.

A plan

God's plan does not include constant drunkenness. It is all about love. A love of ourselves as well as those around us.
When I drank I left no room for that love.

Feeling low

I used to feel terrible about myself, and alcohol reinforced that thought.

A natural reflex

I automatically drank before and during social situations. It was the only way I knew how to cope.

The great escape

From chaos comes death unless we escape alcohol's influence.

One life

I have but one life to live, and I no longer choose to live it drunk.

Triple threat

Three methods of coping that have kept me sober are spiritual, medicinal and therapeutical.
I know I cannot do it alone.

Personality

The booze I chugged became my personality. Any other type of personal or emotional growth stopped and yielded to the bottle.

A willingness

A willingness to change, hurt, heal and sustain is needed to stay far from the bottle.

Who I was

Paranoia, aggression and inadequacy were a part of me every time I became drunk.

Habitual

I am a habitual offender. I drink by day and by night in an attempt to flee from myself and those who have harmed me.

Darkness

The darkest day in my life was created by extreme drunkenness.

Possibilities

The possibilities are endless when I'm sober.

Turmoil

Emotional turmoil leads to relapse. Keep the drama to a minimum if you want sobriety.

My best friend

It took me ten years to realize that alcohol was not my best friend. It took me another ten years to end our relationship.

Abused

I abused myself every time I abused alcohol. I abused my time, talent, finances, health and future every time I touched the bottle.

Forget it

I forgot what the overwhelming desire to drink feels like. That is something best left forgotten.

Recovery is...

Recovery is a collective effort of mind, body and spirit, which along with others helps us to relocate our soul, heart and greater source.

Sobriety is...

Ridding yourself of that which harms, overwhelms and dominates you.

Night & day

The night belonged to booze and the day was dominated by remorse.

Out of order

There was so much wrong with me that was never going to get fixed as long as drunkenness was running the show.

Honesty

Be honest with yourself in your most private moments and look at what alcohol is doing to you.
Then take your findings to God.

Everything

Drinking wasn't the only thing, it was everything. My only friends were bar friends, I drank when I was happy, I drank when I was sad. Holidays, summer, winter, fall and spring. Drinking was all they mattered, all of the time.

I get by

I get by with a little help from my friends. I tried to go it alone and found that I was no match for alcohol's fury.
In the beginning sober people are your best friend.

Welcome

Welcome to March! Depending on where you live, winters wrath is quickly coming to an end.

Tired

The sober life often wears me down. In a good way of course.

Prayer

The power of prayer never fails. NEVER!!

Coping skills

Coping skills are sometimes all we have but are usually enough to get us through.

Hopeless

When I was hopeless it seemed that doom was with me every waking moment. Alcohol is nothing more than liquid hopelessness.

Without a drink...

Without a drink life is decent even on the worst of days.

Bi Polar

Nearly eighteen years after my last drink I was diagnosed as being Bi Polar. That was today. Today was the same as any other day. I lived it without a drink. I will survive my Bi Polar without the aid of prescription drugs. Sobriety is good and do is God!

Hope

I receive so much hope through the people who come into my life when I need them most.
I hope to be one of those people to you. None of us are here by accident.

Hope

I have a lot of emotional issues that alcohol made worse. Hope is a cure we all need and alcohol washes away all forms of hope.

Job description.

Drunk and disorderly is not a part of any job description.

Help is on the way

If I ever drink again I will most certainly need your help.

Too long

It took me too long to get my but into recovery. Drinking has a way of going that to us.

Abusive

Alcohol is the way I chose to abuse myself for a long, long time.

Tough times

I live in a town that officially changes its name to New Dublin and celebrates St. Patrick's Day heavy duty for seven days straight. Drunkenness and drinking are the norm those seven days. What makes this especially tough is I not only live in this town, but my birthday falls on St. Patrick's Day.

Way to lose

I drink, I drive, I eventually lose...BIG TIME!

Coffee

Coffee tastes much better in the morning than a beer ever did.

No rush

Recovery, there is no way you can rush it. Relapse happens when we rush our healing.

Fear

The fear of killing myself sent me to recovery. Daily maintenance is what keeps me away from that first drink. Prayer, exercise, charity and tolerance are just part of my maintenance routine. Drop the maintenance and the first drink returns.

The scenario

The illness is strong, the abuse is relentless and the result is sad and grim.

Silent

I was a quiet drunk. Quiet, desperate and destructive.

Shame

My public drunkenness resulted in a lot of private shame.

Drama

Drama is that bitter after taste that comes from alcohol abuse.

Wasted

A beautiful mind is a terrible thing to get wasted.

Not a clue

I was homeless, hungry, cold, tired, penniless, scared and I couldn't figure out why.
Alcohol has a way of doing that to a person.

Hungry

There were times I didn't have anything too eat, but sadly I always had enough to drink.

Win or lose

Nobody goes into treatment or recovery on a winning streak.
Be who you are and sobriety can't help but find you.

Accidental?

Being able to stop drinking completely is no accident.

If...

If I drink tomorrow it's not because I want to.
There came a time when I began to hate drinking, but I did it anyway and with force!

Blackout

After a few years of drinking blackouts became the norm. My norm was a frightening place to be and I really don't remember it too much!
That's alcohol abuse.

Perfection

In my quest for perfection I constantly stumbled and found the bottom of the bottle.

Mistakes

Even clean and sober I find myself becoming angry and making mistakes. But gratefully I don't have to drink anymore when I experience shame.

Sickness

I drank to the point of getting sick. And then I drank a whole lot more.
Now that is a sickness.

Responsibility

We might not be responsible for the way we drink but we are definitely responsible for getting the help we need'

Control

I was out of control because my drinking was out of control.

My thoughts

I used to think more about drinking than anything else in the world.

God is good

God is good even when things SEEM bad. I'm not going to wait until a million dollars falls from the sky to say that.

Coping skills

After 17 years without a drink I have felt some temptation as of late. But thankfully I have a wealth of coping skills and people in my life that get me through.
All is well!

Alcohol takes over

It dictates time, reason and emotion.

Bad debt

Homeless, hopeless and helpless. That was me and I owed it all to the bottle.

Right on!

If I see you without a drink something has gone terribly right.

Find some

Without hope the bottle wins.

All the time

Day and night, night and day we seek and think about the drink.

Life

Even when life is bad, life is good. That's just how sobriety is.

The truth is...

I am terrible in a large crowd like church. I usually have to stand in the back.
Just one of those strange things that began after I sobered up.

From sobriety

From sobriety much comes.
I am a husband, father, master photographer, author of six books, public speaker, blogger, radio host and bodybuilding enthusiast and owner of a lot of stuff. All of this came to be after I put the bottle down.

Either way

Beer, vodka, gin, wine, weekends, once a month or every night.
It's not what I drank or how often. But rather what happened to me after I took that first drink.

Only you

When I was at my worst it was almost too late. "Too late" is a place none of us need to be.
Only you can start the recovery process

It's tough

It's tough when I see people destroying their lives with drugs & alcohol and there isn't a thing I can do about it.

Mixed emotions

I am sometimes sad that I did not sober up until the age of 34. I am however, very grateful, that I was able to finally sober up at the age of 34.

Something better

Wherever alcohol takes us sobriety can take us somewhere better.

Everywhere

I drank on the big stage. I drank in secret. I drank everywhere!

I turned around...

One day I turned around and saw the wreckage of my past. That was the first time I saw myself as others had seen me for years.

365

The ultimate rush was a full 365 days without a drink!

Healing

Recovery was all about healing and getting acquainted with myself. And honesty held it all together.

Full speed

I drank beyond my limits. I would not and could not stop.

Eager to pass it on

Have sobriety, will travel!

Remembering

I often try and remember the day before the day I took my first drink.

The miracle

The miracle of God is the amazing people he puts in my life. We all have something to offer to another human being.

Pure joy

The joy of sobriety. I went to the gym with my son today and we pumped iron together. A simple, yet powerful reminder about the joy of sobriety.

Life has improved

Life has improved tremendously since my last drink. Everything around me remains the same. The change has come on the inside. Emotionally, mentally and spiritually I am a different person.

If...

If I lean on you it's because your stronger than me, not because I'm drunk.

Higher power

A higher power is much more dependable than I'll ever be. My higher power is God.

I have a thirst

I have a thirst. It's who I am. I have found a positive replacement for alcohol. I have developed coping skills to forever keep me away from that first drink.

The fact is...

I realize that putting the bottle down for the past 17 years is not enough. But I guess it's a good start.

Nothing

I have no real agenda except to be available for God and of course share my sobriety with others.

Do I know you?

One drink is what separates many of us from getting to know each other.

I'm not well

I'm not well and one drink makes me worse. Worse is where I lived for a long, long time.

I knew better...

I knew better and I was still powerless over alcohol.

Complications

The complications of the bottle are mind boggling. I was once so involved with myself that it seemed as if I roamed the earth alone.

One sentence

If I could sum up my drunkenness in one sentence it would be...
Death before life, at best.

Numbness

Drinking kept me from feeling. When I cried, my tears flowed numb without emotion or pain.

17 years

17 years without a drink has taught me many things. One thing especially is that being sober itself just isn't enough.

Open up

I am here because others were here before me and I decided to let them in.

Sweet

There is a sweet innocence that returns when the bottle is no longer involved. It takes the place of bitterness, fear and anger.

Daddy time

I have been a dad for thirteen years. None of which included the bottle.

I'm new

Nothing is old except that which we do over and over expecting different results.

Good night

Good night dad I'll be home early.
Early never came.
Dad's gone now and I'm home early all the time:(

10%

To about 10% of the population one drink is a very dangerous quantity!

The alcoholic

Just because we have never met doesn't mean we don't know each other.

Life

Life was that thing I used to attempt in between big drunks.

Alone

Sometimes being alone with the bottle is the hardest part.

Today

Sober & strong!! Not much more I can say today.

Better or not

I can't make you better people but I can help you put the bottle down and then you'll have a fighting chance in this world.

I've been around

But I was never around myself when I drank. I was just too drunk to ever see myself as others saw me.

Three

The three stages of alcoholism...
Drunkenness, recovery and sobriety.

My soul

My soul turns my brain from an organ into a beautiful symphony.

The killer within me...

The killer within me is the reason I choose to pray everyday.
Alcohol turns me into a killer. If I ever choose to drink again driving drink can't be far behind.
Daily prayer is what keeps me away from the bottle.

Recovery

Recovery is dirty, ugly, painful and messy. But the results are beautiful!

Who I am

For a guy that can never get enough drinking is a bad choice!

The journey

The journey is better when the bottle stays home.

The truth

The truth is I lied almost all the time when I drank. The part that scares me is that I believed all of those lies.

What a difference

I stumbled upon alcohol and I threw myself into recovery

The real me

Who I am, who I was and who I will become will always revolve around my relationship with alcohol.

I drank alone

The magic of drinking alone appealed to me in a very frightening way.

The way it was

We who do not need inspiration are most surely addicted to alcohol.

I'll quit tomorrow

Enough was never enough and tomorrow never came.

Stranger

I don't know who I am when I drink and I never got to know you.

No love loss

Alcohol I love you less today than ever before.

Courage

You never think you have the courage to sober up. BUT YOU DO!!

I see

I see conflict. I drink and I become conflict. Drama is my lifestyle.

So long ago

My last drink was so long ago that I rely on you to remind me never to take a drink again...ever!

Me!

I'm the problem and when I turned to alcohol I buried the problem and created new problems.

Difficult?

It is harder to be a drunk than it is to be sober. The truth is there are no easy roads.

Heavy

Heavy drinking was the only drinking I did.

Clueless

When I didn't know what to do or how to feel I drank heavily. And that my friends was a big mistake.

Run & hide

Blackout was s place I once adored.

Trapped

I sat, I cried, I drank. I was stuck and I didn't know what else to do.

Saturday nights alright

It's Saturday night and its getting late. Do you know where your sanity is?

A new beginning

Sick and tired of being sick and tired is an opportunity for a new beginning.

The formula

Love, live and give leaves no room for a drink.

Helping

Helping others is the best part of not taking a drink.

Clarity

Everything has a way of working out when the focus is on sobriety.

Balance

Day and night. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Agenda

I'll never catch my breath. Sobriety keeps me too busy.

Not so bad

My worst days sober are better than I could have ever hoped for.

I lost

I lost my friend of twenty years. He kept me company day and night. Without him I have hope and the misery is now far away. And that's why it's okay.

In God I failed to trust

Without a clue and without hope I put my trust in you.

Not so happy hour

I walk away from everything and spend all of my waking moments taking you in. I do this for too many years.

We are

We are real and successful and giving. But all of that remains on hold until we are able to put the bottle away permanently.

Can

Sobriety doesn't come in a can. But with courage and an honest recovery sobriety can happen.

It's all here

I like where I'm at. I know where I'm at and I no longer need alcohol to get where I'm going.

Life changing

My first and last drink were both life changing. In between I remember very little.

Big drunk

My biggest drunk lasted nearly twenty-two years with a few breaks of sleep and misery in between.

Debt

Alcohol owes me twenty years. If robbed me of a lot of time.

Story time

Life should be more than a tragic ending and painful memories.

Hope

Someday may not be today or even tomorrow but someday eventually happens now.

Run and hide

I never ran. I didn't hide. I just jumped into a bottle of alcohol and stayed there for 20 years.

Journeys way

We are all equals at different parts of the journey.

The journey

I will go straight to the top and represent those who are temporarily at the bottom.

Suicide

I was there. The insanity had backed me into a corner. Years of drunkenness came crashing down upon me. Suicide seemed the only way out. Death was near.
But I could not find the courage. Too afraid to live and too cowardly to die.

Overindulge

Everything is missing when I attempt to have it all.

Coping skill

To deal with an emotion of any kind I would need alcohol. I definitely developed a psychological dependence for the stuff. Drunkenness was the only coping skill I knew.

No desire

I would often find myself drinking when I had no desire for a drink what so ever. Drinking evolved into a destructive bad habit, a way of life. Over time it was all that I knew how to do.

People

Staying sober requires courage, commitment and prayer. But most of all staying sober requires being surrounded by people who care, understand and remain judgement free.

Cocaine

Cocaine spent the entire summer with me long ago. It took away what little life remained after alcohol's fury.

The journey

The edge of glory is miles away from the liquor store.

Just in time

I found sobriety just in time. May you all be as fortunate as I was:)

Say what?

I aspire to die a drunk said no one ever.

Reflection

I think about what it used to be like every time I look into your eyes. Our stories parallel in misery.

Got job?

We are all too overqualified to live in daily drunkenness.

Give and take

Giving love, feeling love and getting by better than I could have ever imagined.

So long

It's been so long since my last drink that the only link I have to misery is my past and your current desire to drink.

Happy hour

Happy hour quickly faded into the darkness of the night which ultimately surrendered to mornings remorse.

The art of word

The inspiration of poetic beauty is what helped me arrive at sobriety's door.

Can you relate?

I never had a relationship with myself until I ended my relationship with the bottle.

Feel the beat

Sobriety definitely has a pulse. Drunkenness was so lifeless.

Prayer

The only thing that kept me sober at my darkest moments was prayer. 2am, 8am or high noon. It did not matter. Prayer is anytime, free, personal, powerful and it saved my life!

My best

My best starts when alcohol is no longer a part of my life. Until I separate myself from the desire to drink I will never know what my best is.

Blackout

A place that is haunting, dangerous and just downright insane. Too many nights of my life were spent in a blackout.

Me, me, me

I never needed a drink as much as I wanted a drink. It went on like this for two decades. It was always about me!

The pretender

My life was coming apart. I was out of control, my thoughts ran wild, my emotions were fried and for a long time I calmly sipped my drink as if everything was alright.

Bad choices

Bad choices kill the spirit, the future, dreams and sometimes people.
For me even one drink was a bad choice:(

Changing the future

The wreckage of my past is unfortunately someone else's future.
The time to sober up is now.

Grateful in a big way

Too much gratitude to fit all in one room.

Joyful

If I were any less sober I would have control of my joy.

Book news

I'm have decided to put off writing anther fictional novel and instead follow my true passion and write another book of poetry.
More details to come.

Every now and then

Every now and then bring drunk was fun. But the majority of the time it was a miserable necessity.

Foggy

I attempt to see who I am in the mirror but the fog of my disease distorts my view.

Cold

Nothing is as cold as the loneliness that accompanies years of alcohol abuse.

Today

I didn't drink or drive drunk. I know where I've been and I know where I'm going to wake up.
Not a bad day at all.

Constant motion

Sometimes I can't stay in one emotional spot too long. It must be part of who I am. I remember it always being that way. God and prayer keep me grounded on the big things, but as far as the little things I guess I'm on my own.

Getting it right

The thing about life is that it takes a lifetime to get it right.

Don't quit

Don't quit five minutes before the miracle!! This was probably the greatest advice that was ever given to me when I was in early recovery.

On a clear day

On a clear day I can see forever. On a day that I'm hungover I can't see at all.

I'm sick

I'm sick, angry and emotionally unbalanced and the last thing I need is alcohol making me even more of a monster.

Alone

Alone with my thoughts was a dangerous and terrifying place to be. The only place I could find any comfort from this kind of terror was the bottle.

Brink

I find myself on the brink as I face certain challenges and setbacks. Yet even though I am being pushed to the limit a drink is the furthest thing from my mind.

Hey you

No matter how dark and hopeless it may seem things have a way of working out!! A little faith, patience and prayer is what it usually takes.

My gift to you!

My book "HOUSE ON PADDOCK LANE" will be available for FREE download FRIDAY through Sunday at the following link...
http://www.jaykolo.com/books/hpl.html

Not much to say

Just another day jammed in between a lot of other days. No drama, no set backs, no depression or pain.
Just s day.

How it be

It be like this! When I drank; fear, defensiveness, anger and violence ruled my nights.
Since I've sobered up; discovery, new awareness, acceptance and homage dominate my day.

Twisted logic

The sober I get the drinker I less.

Trust

I trusted the bottle to get me through hell. It just dropped me off there and left me for dead.

Life is good

Life ain't what it used to be and I have God to thank for that.

Much to say

I have so much to say, but I don't always know how to say it. Putting God's grace into words is a difficult assignment.

Humility

The stronger and more independent I become the more I need to be humbled.

Pleasure

The pleasure I discovered the very first time I drank eluded me for the next two decades. Had I only known!

Such pleasure and meaning

Sobering up has brought with it such a level of pleasure and meaning that I never expected nor do I feel I deserve.

Killer drink

Alcohol doesn't kill. People like me allow it to slowly put us to death and too many times we do nothing about it.

Remorse

The worst part of each drinking episode was the painful remorse that followed me the morning after. There was no escaping its nauseating grip.

A time to serve

The way I see it we are either being served alcohol or serving God. The two cannot exist harmoniously in my life.

$$$

During my 22 years of drinking I conservatively figured that alcohol cost me around $220,000. That is a lot of money down the toilet.

A reason for hope

I had no reason to think life would ever get better other than the hope, that my next drink, would lead me away from the daily drama and misery that had become my life.
Of course we know that never came to pass.

Discovery

Discovery is the main cog during recovery. Getting to know who we were before alcohol took over is critical in realizing who we actually are.

Gratitude

I am the product of many people caring about me when I didn't. And for that I will always be grateful.

Act I

I was the main act in a show that only I attended. Alcohol gave me top billing while society showered my behavior with negative reviews.

If I could turn back the clock

If I could turn back the clock would time be on my side? Would tears I caused dry up and be replaced with joy? The torment of moments eluded shall forever haunt me so I turn my focus in towards future moments yet to arrive.

Who am I?

A question that tormented me hundreds of times while I was under the influence of alcohol.
A question that was never answered until sobriety became my main stay.

Gods grace

If it wasn't for Gods grace I would have ended up a painful memory to the few who loved me 17 years ago.

Lying all the day long

I survived by lying to everyone I knew and especially to myself. My life was such a collection of lies that when I got into recovery I didn't even know who I was!

Responsibility

I could not be responsible for how much or how often I drank, but at some point I needed to be responsible for getting help from those who knew better than I.

Get moving

Put down the bottle, get into recovery, get your sanity back and jump into sobriety.

Decision time

We have to decide at some point whether we are going to allow sobriety or drunkenness to dominate the majority of our waking moments.
If we put it off drunkenness will most certainly win out.

Take one less drink

From now on take one less drink. Make it the first one.

All I know

I know no other way but to drink until I can't take another drop. I drink at a speed of 100mph. That is why I drink no more.

My books free to you

I have extended the free download offer until January 5th. To download my two most popular books free of charge please visit...
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The Lord

The Lord is my Shepard I shall not want.
Alcohol is my executioner from which I have nothing.

Big

I am bigger than the bottle. It took me 22 years to realize that.

A constant battle

With alcohol out of the picture the only battles we ever really have are with ourselves

Crossroads

Dying for a drink. Living for a chance to become sober.

New Year

Alcoholism has no calendar, time or space. The misery of years past quickly becomes a part of current time.
A way out does exist through others who have conquered the curse of the bottle.

Happy 2013

May sobriety chase you down and make you it's constant companion!