Just enough to get by

If all I know is SOBER, I know just enough to get by.

Sober

Staying sober because I CAN!!!  Staying sober because of GOD!!

No place to go!

Got nothing to trust, so I put my trust in alcohol and it took me far, far away from the truth.

My way?

I have a history of doing what I want to do.  And for the last 16 years I have NOT wanted to take a drink.

The way it was

I stagger home unsure about where I have been.   And I then wonder to myself,  how long before this happens again?

At worst

On my worst days, sober is the best I can do!

So much for recovery

Eventually the day comes when you are ready to face the world again.  That day is called sobriety!!  

Support groups really help!

Everyday I had a demon telling me to drink.  That is why I needed at least twenty people telling me not to.

My new business card

Where was I going?

Chasing something that wasn't there is what kept me under the influence all of those years.

I got no where fast

Two steps backwards is how it went each and everyday that I drank.

The way it was a long time ago

What holds the world together I may never know.  For the drink is all that I bond too.  And for now I have little else in life to smile about.

Alcohol always owned me

Too young to know what I was doing.  To old to know there was still hope.  And in between a long futile attempt to drink away my pain and confusion. 

Last call

Too dark to know that light even existed. 

My life

I live on the edge of my thoughts.  For me reality and dreams are a fine line separated by courage.

The speed of sobriety

Sobriety is always there.  Life however moves on at an incredibly fast pace. 

Runaway train

I was headed for no where at a high rate of speed for a long, long time.

Scars

If I make my mark in life, may it not be scarred by the tears of alcoholism.

The truth about recovery

Recovery was hell, sobriety is bliss.  Go for the bliss!!!

It doesn't have to be that way

Honor and glory are absent in the life of a drunken alcoholic.

The truth

The truth hurts.  Especially when it is taken away by constant blackouts.

Within

Peace, confidence and joy were always within me.  The problem was alcohol would not let them out!

Honesty

If sobriety were to become a mainstay I would have to be completely honest with God and most of all myself.  If not drunkenness and desperation would become the norm.

I was an alcoholic

The world was vast.  My place in it was small and seemingly insignificant.  I clung to the soothing effects of alcohol.  Without it there was no peace.  With it there was turmoil.  I wept, I drank, I roamed without purpose.  I was an alcoholic without hope or desire to change. 

The beat goes on

On the back side of my last heart beat is foreverness I am still uncertain about.  I am certain however, that I do not want alcohol, to be a part of either.  

Purpose

Recovery for the sake of purpose!  I tried to sober up many, many times.  But when I finally made it a permanent gig is when my recovery had purpose.  Recovery without a vision, a plan, purpose or hope is just a long dry spell in the life of a drunken alcoholic.

Why did I drink?

I drank to forget, I drank to remember, I drank to dull my senses and stir my soul.  But mostly I drank because it was the only coping skill I had in my survival arsenal.

Mounting pressure

The pressure of necessity is what finally woke me up and turned my focus on recovery.  That necessity was to remain alive!

Time to change

The tick of the clock measures time.
Time shows no mercy.
Alcohol owns time.
No better time to look deep into ones own eyes.

The heart of the matter

I laugh at myself. 
Unable to feel pain. 
I cannot stop isn't the problem,
as much as why I started in the first place.

Time bomb

Alcoholism follows no clock.  There for it's destructive power is everywhere, all the time.

Beat to death

I drink and drink and drink.  I search over and over and find nothing.  Finally, I see myself as others have seen me for years.  And it is at that moment, I see, how much of a beating I have taken from the bottle.

Tough times ahead.

Quiting drinking is hard!  The only thing harder is dying a drunk!!

A random smile

If I cracked a smile it was the alcohol and nothing more.  Deep down I was all tears.  The joy of a simple smile is something I had been unable to experience since my very first drunk.