Shame on me

I gave my life to alcohol and in return I got shame.

War!

A war broke out when I decided to put the bottle away permanently.  The battlefield was called RECOVERY!

Not a life

For too long I wandered with a beer in my hand never sure where I was going and clueless to where I had been.

Abundance

Family, friends, health and hope!  These are things that the bottle for over two decades.

To drink is to die

Too much to soon.  Too little to late and in between too much to drink!!

All gone

One day I knew I was going to run out of tomorrows.  I did not want to be drunk when that day came.

Sadness

So sad is the person who dies under the influence.  A place so lonely that love and joy cannot possibly exist.  

Tears

I cried for a drink and once I started I cried because I could not stop.

How did I get here?

If you take a good look at your current situation and wonder if alcohol had anything to do with the dismal state of your life, know this...ALCOHOL HAD EVERYTHING TO DO WITH IT!!

Perfect sense

Prayer is where it all started to make perfect sense.

Coping skills

Without help from others I would have never developed the necessary coping skills needed to remain sober.

Solutions

Problems still exist in my life but solutions have replaced years of drinking.

Stop and go

The toughest thing about drinking was stopping.  The toughest thing about stopping was starting.

Rock-n-roll

Just because we put away the bottle does not mean there is no more rock-n-roll in our lives.

Going no where

When I was young people knew I was going to go places in life and then I just didn't.  Alcohol had a big part in that.

I've learned

After seventeen years away from the bottle I've learned the only way to overcome my problems is to overcome alcohol first!

I thought I was going places

The upper echelon of hell is the only place alcohol ever took me.

Taking action

Others helped me more than I ever could of helped myself.  But their help was worthless until I decided I was ready to accept and listen.  I made the mistake of waiting until I hit a hard bottom and too often that is too late.

1000

I had my 1000th consecutive trip to the gym today!  That is a streak that dates back to December 26th, 2009.  Sobriety may have left me with a few obsessive tendencies, but they are one's I can live with and hopefully LIVE LONG!  

Finding reality

I drank to excess partly because my self-esteem was a train wreck.  The reality was alcohol had me in it's grips and I was out of touch with reality.  

Doing it ugly!

There are days when my attitude and demeanor are downright ugly.  Sobriety at times can be confusing and very ugly, but my ugliest day sober is much more beautiful than my prettiest day drunk!

Sobriety is...

Sobriety for me is a chance to meet the challenges of the journey without the crippling fear which drove me to the bottle in the first place.  So much more is attainable when I live my life above the influence.

I wanted it bad

After a few days away from the bottle I wanted sobriety as bad as I wanted to breath!

Investment

The best investment I ever made was sobriety and commitment to God.  The payoff was tax-free.

Priorities

I have nothing to eat, no where to go and yet I still find a way to drink.

Evil

I was a peaceful and funny drunk, but I was a mean and verbally abusive man after a night of drinking.  I allowed the remorse I experienced to turn me into a dangerous and evil individual.

Options

At the time it appeared drinking was my only option.  Now I know that anything but drinking was a viable option.

A haunting thought

So much of my time under the influence was spent in blackout.  So much of my blackout was spent behind the wheel of a car.

Tomorrow

I wanted to quit tomorrow so bad, but the bottle just kept tomorrow from ever happening.

Glad you are here!

If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired you have come to the right place!

Thank you

Sobriety is more about you than it is about me.  Thank you for helping me by allowing me to help you.

Sanity

When I searched for sanity I found alcohol and nearly lost my mind.

I see

I see my past and see no reason why alcohol should ever again be a part of my life.

Honesty

The key to becoming sober and remaining sober is being honest with yourself by acknowledging who you are and what you have allowed alcohol to do to you. An honest attempt to reconcile your past and develop coping skills is what follows.  Permanent sobriety will not be far behind.

Laughter & joy

The laughter and joy that is coming from my living room is from my children. Moments like these would never have existed if I had not found the courage to go to God 17 years ago and plead for the desire to drink to be permanently removed.

Tonight I will be working on my monthly contribution for serene scene magazine. You can view past articles of mine and more at www.serenescenemagazine.com...

God's grace

God's grace set me free and all I had to do was ask.  Being bombarded day in and day out by the desire to drink is no way to live.

I need a drink

"I need a drink" is no longer embedded in my subconscious.  "I can never have another drink and I can easily survive without one"  has replaced it.

A thought

A lot of my problems today have nothing to do with alcohol.  I am the reason for many of my problems.  Alcohol was the reason I never did anything to overcome the problems I had.

Most days

My heart is secure, my spirit is soaring and the bottle is no where to be found.

Darkness

If I run away from myself and use alcohol as my guide I will forever live in a darkness few can imagine.

What becomes of it

Anger becomes peace, lack becomes prosperity, fear becomes courage, sadness becomes joy and drunkenness becomes sobriety when we put the bottle down and commit to accepting help from those who have been there before.

A wife, two children, a dog and four cats.

Sobriety is never being lonely or unloved.

It depends

I depend on no one who depends on the bottle.

A single prayer

A single prayer can wipe out a decade of drunkenness.  Ask God to remove the desire to drink from you at least for today.

Seeing you

When I see you wondering like I was seventeen years ago I realize that sobriety is truly the place to be.

Helpless

Knowing I shouldn't, but doing it anyway.  This was me with a drink in my hand for over two decades.

Remorse

The pain I felt emotionally was far worse than the physical sting that came from a night of drinking.  Remorse was one of the most painful feelings I have ever experienced.

Thank you!

Thank you for helping me, by allowing me to help you.

Faith

Faith can sometimes be grueling.  But then again the daily grind of being a drunk was quite grueling as well.  Put your faith in God and trust that He will take away your desire to drink.

People helping people

I have a brother who is 45 years old, living with aids and still on the crack.  I would do anything to help him. But it might take one of you.  It might take someone out there who is still using or under the influence.  So please everybody sober up today.  Because tomorrow someone's life may depend on the inspiration that your recovery provides.

Who do we trust?

In God we trust, not bottle!

Update

My new website www.jaykolo.com has been delayed.  The official launch date should be sometime around the 21st of September.  Thanks in advance for understanding!!

A quick fix is needed

Spiritually broken or under the influence?  After awhile it gets so bad it doesn't really matter.  Something needs to be done when alcohol is calling the shots.  And it needs to be done quick!  

Help from above

Sobriety lives within every alcoholic.  God can help those in need find that sobriety

Chaos

Chaos was all I knew for a long time.  It was all alcohol ever allowed me to know.

I'm so sad

I'm sad because there are so many people out there living the way I use to live. The saddest part is the hollow smiles that we hide behind.

The wasted

So much wasted potential gets washed away by fear and the overindulgence of booze.

What came first?

What came first the alcohol or the pain?  Depression, anger and anxiety were around for many years.  They were synonymous with drinking.  I have never figured out which came first, but what I do know, is they all faded away at some point during my recovery.

Hopeless

Without hope is where I would find myself after a long night of heavy drinking.  For a long time my life revolved around drinking and for a long time I felt completely hopeless.