Either or

I despised the very thing I loved. That will always be the core of my illness

Substitute

I would often substitute sleep and food for alcohol. Anything for a buzz. 

Never

Never again to drink, never again to know misery. 

Who am I?

I had my first drink when I was 13. I had my last drink at the age of 34. In between I lied, cheated, cried, screamed, kicked and hurt everyone in my path. 

Drunkenness is ugly. 

The bottom

I've been to the bottom of every bottle. That is how I finally hit rock bottom. 

Alcoholism is like...

Trying to make believe everything is alright on my worst day.

Sanity

If I were anymore sober I'd be sane.