Getting back on track

I found myself at 6am on the corner of Grand and Harlem and I wondered "how did I get here"?
I found myself ready to end it all and I wondered "how do I get out of here"?

If we find ourselves in a place that is too dismal to support life itself, shout out to God from the heart, and He will lift you up, and place you, where you were supposed to be before alcohol lured you on a soggy detour.

Life at the brink

Too much fear.
Too much pain.
Too many tears.
Too little food.
Too few friends who knew my name.
Not enough hope.
Dreams that disappeared.
Anger and frustration were
the only abundance.
Confusion, doubt, shame
also followed me.
Too many thoughts of suicide danced in my head.
It took everything I had to get on my knee's.
It was the place to be
in order to chase away the desire to drink!

The killer within me...

The killer within me is the reason I choose to pray everyday!  I have said this before and it still holds true.  Without prayer I become further from God.  When there is distance between me and God alcohol can sneak back into my life.  Alcohol is something that given the chance will always dominate my life.  It has the power to turn me into a killer.  Back when I drank I drove drunk more than a thousand times!  That is something that cannot be allowed to happen again.

That is why prayer is the most powerful tool I have readily available to help me maintain my joy, sobriety and spiritual connection with God.

Drunkenness is...

Drunkenness is a state of mind fueled by alcohol.  What drives us to reach for alcohol to achieve this state of mind is what recovery is all about.

Recovery and sobriety

Recovery is...hardcore, brutal, honest, emotional, grueling, painful, scary, lonely, gut-wrenching, enlightening, hopeful and necessary.

Sobriety is...love, warm, secure, joyful, bliss, confidence, giving, selfless, healthy, spiritual, gratitude and most of all it is permanent! 

This is sobriety

And even though I may leave you, know this.
Hope is the best thing that I have never known.
The hope that someday life becomes joy.
And I will know, what I do not know now.
A day so bright without need to squint.
A moment so harsh yet I withstand it's fury.
How did I get here, but from on my knee's.
God's grace equals His compassion.
I stand for all the world to see as testimony.
Love creates the eternity of healing. 

A modest thought

When it comes to sobriety 'modesty' is the best policy.  The only big dream I have these days is to serve God!

Hidden Pain

Stop breathing, turn cold and die.
That which I desire leads me to a shallow grave.
Unable to find tomorrow,
for tomorrow is the seed of sobriety.
Happiness flows downhill, life follows.
Wander to walk off the pain.
Hurt from the heart cripples all thought.
True love unable,
for my soul does not exist.
The external hides the internal.
God as my Creator take me at my word,
from thy knees and heal me.
Heal me, heal me!

A THOUGHT...

The only shameful thing about God's grace is never allowing yourself to experience it.

A THOUGHT

If I still did things my way I would still be miserable and drinking. 

Give God a chance.

Give yourself the sobriety you deserve!

To pray is to heal

To love a substance more than life itself.
To never know myself on the inside.
Too much time has gone by.
Too little joy exists within.
To see beyond the blindness of my fears is hope.
Too many tears tell a dismal tale.
Too much of a good thing has taken me far, far away from my creator.
To realize that a good thing is only the opinion of my addiction.
To wait too long is to die.
To get on my knees immediately is to survive.

A THOUGHT...

Science has come to the conclusion that God does not exist.  Satan thinks otherwise.  If Satan acknowledges the existence of God why can't you?

My sobriety would not be what it is today without God's grace.  In fact my recovery began because God was there when I needed Him most.  God is ready to take you away from alcohol forever if only you ask Him to.

Heavy weight

The weight of years of drinking came crashing down on me one day when I least expected it.  That appeared to be the final day of my life.  As it turned out that was the last day of my life that I took a drink.

That day was nearly 16 years ago.  If I was able to do it SO CAN YOU!!

Coping skills

Coping skills are mans best friend when it comes to permanently avoiding that first drink.  Believe it or not alcohol is a very negative coping skill that we usually stumble upon early in life. 

Positive coping skills can be found in daily prayer, faith in God, church, the Bible, alcoholics anonymous, counseling and therapy just to name a few.

No coping skills, no sobriety.
Know coping skills, know sobriety.
The choice is up to you!  

Emotionally broken

I couldn't take the emotional punishment of alcohol any longer.  That is why I put the bottle down and cried out to God for help.

It's not my call

Even after 16 years away from the bottle I find myself in difficult situations.  Situations I doubt I can overcome without the help of God.  But that's okay because everything in my life is God's call not mine.

I would not have it any other way. 

God is

GOD IS LOVE! 

God is also peace, hope, healing, strength and courage.

God is where you need to be at this moment if it is sobriety you seek!

A THOUGHT...

Success starts the moment you commit to putting down the bottle forever!

After we put the bottle down

After we put the bottle down, we can get that "pick me up" from those who have been there.  God too, is always there to pick us up whenever we need it.  And when we are healed and able to function without the aid of the bottle, we can be there for others who have taken our place.
That is when we we begin to serve God and fulfill our purpose to Him.

Nothing remains

No joy, no hope and dreams that are no longer present.  Friends and family are in hiding.  The money has run out and time no longer waits for you to turn things around.  Nothing remains except another dismal drunk followed by remorse and uncertainty.

Nothing remains except a cry for help in the middle of a cold, dark and lonely day.  All that is left to do is turn your back on your next drink and get down on your knees and pray.  God will do what needs to be done...

Blessings!

Let's hear it!

The best thing about drinking has eluded my memory for the past sixteen years.

Alcohol is a dominant force in the lives of so many who have no hope.

Drunkenness 101

All I knew for over two decades was to drink, get drunk and pick up the pieces.  Daily despair become a way of life.  My level of normalcy took a rather dismal and unhealthy dive.

One day I looked in the mirror and saw myself as others had seen me for years.  That was the most sobering moment of my life!