Truth talk

The truth about cats and dogs is that they don't drink.  We drink, and when we do, we act like animals. 

Truth talk

For over two decades I thought my best friend was alcohol.  I couldn't have been more wrong!

Truth talk

Drunkenness is taking a perfectly healthy situation and pissing on it.

Without hope...

Without hope what's the point?  That is what alcohol did.  It took away my hope.  When I put the bottle down for good I found hope through daily prayer and a personal relationship with God.  My desire to drink was no more. 

Here's to your health

Went to the ER this week with discomfort in my chest.  Yes, I actually thought I might be having a heart attack!  Fear ran through my blood when the doctor asked me to stay overnight for tests.  As it turned out, my problem was nothing more than a severe sour stomach.  My heart passed the entire battery of tests!  In fact my cholesterol and several other key risk factors tested excellent.  I also had a CT scan to check for blockage in and around my heart.  I scored a zero out of 2000!  My doctor explained that my heart was functioning as well as an 18 year old male.  I had no plaque build up what so ever!  I am 50 years old.  I go to the gym everyday.  In fact I have not missed a day at the gym since December 25th, 2009!  That is approaching 600 consecutive days of vigorous exercise.

The gift of health is just another example of God's grace in my life.  I shudder to think what my life or my health would be had I not turned away from alcohol in 1995.  Fifteen years ago I did not give a hoot about health.  I sure do now.  If your planning on being a part of this earth for awhile put the bottle down now!  Alcohol may not kill, but it most definitely shortens lives, stings the soul and takes the quality out of our remaining days.

The way it is

"None so blind as those who will not see".

This simple quote describes my denial to the letter.  When I drank, I did not think.  Thinking was drinking.  Reasoning was drinking.  Sadness was drinking,  Happiness was drinking.  Everything in my life revolved around drinking.  East, west, life, death, north & south.  It was all about the drink.  I just did not see who I was or what was happening to me.

One painful day I saw myself as others had seen me for years.  I opened my eyes and did not like what I saw.  It made me ill.  All the alcohol in the world could not erase the image I now had of myself

Something had to be done.  Something had to be done!

The best of days

August 10, 1995 was the best day of my life!  It started with a net worth of zero, blackout drinking, painful depression, crippling fear, severe thoughts of suicide, a harsh rock bottom and just enough strength to get up on my knees and ask God for help.  It was truly when my sobriety was born.

Too bad Amy Winehouse never had a day this good.

A time to love

In early recovery I hated myself so much that permanent sobriety had little, if any chance of happening.  Then one day, I realized while praying that I needed to accept myself.  Accept who I was, who I had been and who I was going to become.  In time, I began liking myself.  Eventually, I loved myself to the point where I could love others.  This is when my recovery ended and sobriety took over. 

Moderation

Food, sex, anger and other nasty habits all tried to take the place of alcohol during my recovery.  But it was God and daily prayer that kept me on a clean path of moderation.

Getting it right

My behavior was rather bizarre even after I put down the bottle.  But that is what recovery is all about.

Straight up!

I drank to forget.  But in the end I could hardly remember.  Alcohols biggest toll is the emotional pain we must endure.

Straight up!

Verbal abuse was my weapon of choice during my drinking days.  This is a pattern I work hard not to slip back into.  I know over the years I have deeply hurt those who love me most and for that I shall forever be sorry.

Straight up!

To grow up does not mean to sober up! 

Straight up!

Several times when I was drinking I would check myself into a treatment center because I had no where else to go.  Sobering up was the farthest thing from my mind.  I just wanted to lay low, eat and spend a few weeks in a nice warm bed.  The alcoholic in me did not see the harm or illness in that type of thinking.

The alcoholic in me was dead wrong and I almost paid the price for that twisted logic with my life!

Straight up!

It might not be our fault that we drink the way we do but it is our responsibility to do something about it!

That something is recovery, God and ultimately permanent sobriety.  

Straight up!

If we are not completely honest with ourselves, and God while in recovery, we are not in recovery at all!

Honesty is the most important part of a successful recovery.  Without it recovery itself does not exist! 

Straight up!

One thing about recovery.  Don't expect it to tickle!

Recovery is tough, painful and grueling.  But most of all for a guy like me recovery was necessary!! 

Straight up!

During my early recovery (and I'm talking about the first three or four years).  Besides remaining alcohol free I considered it a miracle that I had not killed anyone!  My anger during that time period was out of control.  Dealing with life on life's terms without the aid of alcohol drove me to the brink of emotional catastrophe. 

Daily prayer got me through.  The grace of God placed many people in my path who were able to inspire and enlighten me.  I soon would discover serenity and hope.  That was all I needed to find the composure and confidence to continue on the road to recovery. 

Not even close to being perfect

Even after nearly 16 years away from the bottle I have days (even weeks) that leave me scratching my head.  I am not even close to being perfect.  I have hope and that is a good thing.  I wish I had more faith.

One thing that I do have after all of these years is problems in areas where before I did not even have areas!  Think about it.

Recovery

Sometimes someone just seems to come along with the exact words we needed to hear to make it yet another day.

That is what recovery is all about.

My drug of choice

Turmoil was my drug of choice and alcohol kept a steady stream of turmoil in my life.  A life lived in constant inebriation and overindulgence cannot survive. 

Put the bottle down and get into recovery today.  It is a long road that eventually leads to sobriety. 

A THOUGHT...

Innocent blood to often spills when we choose to drive drunk!!  You don't have to be an alcoholic to drive drunk.  Irresponsible and stupid are the only requirements.

A THOUGHT...

The soothing effects of alcohol will never come close to what God has in store for us!!

I found it...

I had been searching for sobriety for many years.  I finally found it when I hit rock bottom.  I had to get knocked down to the lowest imaginable point before I could see it.

Sobriety is always there if you stop and clear your eyes of alcohol and take a good look.  

Let's go there!

The "seldom visited" otherwise known as permanent sobriety.  We alcoholics have three places we can hang out.  Drunkenness, recovery or permanent sobriety.  The sad fact is most alcoholics constantly visit recovery and then turn around and head back to drunkenness. 
The seldom visited side.  A place where most alcoholics belong, but few ever get there.  Permanent sobriety.  Let's go there! 

God's grace

The other day I saw my ten year old son praying in silence and attempting to say the rosary.  A sight like that would never have been possible if I had not sobered up sixteen years ago.  What a gift!  What a beautiful sight!  God's grace produces incredibly beautiful sights indeed.

What has God envisioned for your life on the sober side??

How I cope

I am removed from drunkenness just enough to be dangerous.  Removed from the pain, fear and confusion that comes, when it is impossible, to put the bottle away for any length of time.  Dangerous because all it will ever take to set me off is one single, innocent drink.  With this in mind, I realize, that for the rest of my life there is no such thing as an innocent drink!

Through daily personal prayer, I arm myself with the knowledge, that if I seek to serve the Lord more than I seek to be served any desire to drink will be greatly diminished.  So diminished in fact that the temptation to think about drinking ceases to exist in the area of my brain that for many years was under the influence of constant inebriation.

Numbers that I think about

I often think about how long I have been sober.  Many alcoholics say that they are only sober "one day at a time".  Good for them!!  I like to look at the big picture.  I have been sober nearly 6000 days!  That is a lot of time away from the bottle considering for over 20 years I could not stay away from alcohol more than 6 days.

God's grace is awesome even if we truly don't deserve it.  Praise The Lord for blessing me with nearly 6000 one day at a times!!

Get going with your count today.  Ask The Lord to show you how!

All washed up!

Wash away my troubles, wash away my pain. 

This was what I thought alcohol would do for me in the beginning.  My troubles and pain were too much for me, so I happily employed the services of alcohol.  In so doing, it was like pouring gasoline over an open flame.  My life was out of control!

Putting down that bottle long enough to get into recovery and develop coping skills was finally, how I managed, to wash away all of that trouble and pain!

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!

HAVE A BLAST!!!  That is something I can easily do each and every holiday.  The best part is I can do it without the aid or assistance of alcohol.  I laugh, I cry, I love with the many special people who have become a part of my life since I walked away from alcohol.  There was dark and dismal time when I could not imagine life without alcohol.  Today however is bright and with much joy.  I cannot possibly imagine alcohol ever being a part of my life again!

If I can do it through the grace of God you most certainly can too! 

84 years and counting...

I have an 84 year old aunt.  Her father, my grandfather passed away 45 years ago.  He was a cruel drunk.  His words and actions brought her to tears when she was a little girl, a teenager and even as a middle aged woman.  The fact is, even though my grandfather has been dead nearly a half century, the memory of his words still brings my aunt to tears.

We alcoholics do not realize how our drinking affects others.  Nor do we realize how long the bottle torments those who love us the most. 

Sometimes long after we are gone our alcoholism is still causing tears.