When motivation wears off

When motivation wears off the power of prayer delivers.  When it's 2am and thoughts of suicide are racing through your head, and you can't shove the booze down your throat fast enough, and all the inspirational books in the world have failed you remember this:  The power of prayer delivers when everything else has failed.
At my lowest moment I found the strength to get up on my knees and ask God for one more day to get it right. 

The way it has become

Where there was loneliness, there now is love.
Where there was hopelessness, there now is hope.
Where there was homelessness, there now is family.
Where there was confusion, there now is peace.
Where there was hunger, there now is satisfaction.
Where there was lack, there now is gratitude.

When there was drunkenness turmoil ran wild.
When sobriety was found Gods love filled my heart!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, PEACE, LOVE AND GOOD HEALTH TO ALL!

Eventually...

Eventually we will all have our last drink.  When will yours be? 

One drink

The one drink that separates the drunk from the sober individual is "the first drink".  The first drink takes away our hope, joy, family, friends, finances, serenity, good health, freedom and even our life.  At my worst moment I found myself on my knees in enormous emotional pain.  That was the moment I pleaded with God to forever TAKE AWAY MY DESIRE TO DRINK!!!  That was over 15 years ago.  Since that moment the first drink has never had any power over me.

Honesty

If we are honest with ourselves and God (at least once a day) during our most quiet of moments, our recovery has a chance at becoming permanent sobriety.

Hope

Daily prayer gave me hope.  And that hope seemed to replace anger, confusion and despair.  With hope I could put some distance in between myself and that next drink.

I awoke...

I awoke one morning and took a drink. I realized alcohol was no longer working. I could not get drunk enough to quiet the pain that had taken up residence within my head. I knew that I was in trouble. Secretly I had known that for years.

Limping into adulthood

Before I was even of legal drinking age alcohol had destroyed my life.  I suffered from anxiety and depression.  I dropped out of high school.  I spent time in mental institutions due to my fragile emotional state of mind.  Ending my life was always in he back of my mind.  I was involved in a serious drunken car crash at the age of eighteen.  I joined the military at the age of nineteen and was kicked out fifteen months later due to my excessive drinking, depression and suicidal tendencies. 
All of this before reaching the legal drinking age.  Yes, alcohol certainly had beaten me up as I found myself limping into adulthood at the age of twenty-one. 

Controlling

Alcohol is very controlling.  For 22 years it told me what to do!  It controlled my money, health, even the type of people I associated with.  I did not eat, sleep or bath while I was under the influence and controlling grip of the bottle.

Realizing

I finally realized I needed help when I looked in the mirror and saw myself as others had seen me for years.

The killer within me is the reason I chose to...

The killer within me is the reason I chose to pray everyday.  During the 22 years that I drank, I must shamefully admit, that I drove drunk over a thousand times.  Drunk driving kills!  I was guilty of attempted murder each and everytime I got behind the wheel of an automobile drunk.
In the early days of recovery prayer saved me from myself and from taking that first drink.  Today, I still pray each and everyday.  Often times from my knees.  Prayer comforts me.  It gives me correct thought, action, and proper word .  It takes away anger and relieves anxiety and fear.  It removes all of those painful feelings which eventually would lead me back to that first drink and the misery that soon would follow.

Pray early, pray often!!   

The long road

The long road to sobriety travels through recovery.  I was there for several years becoming aquainted with myself.  Alcohol never allowed me to get to know myself.  I finally got a glimpse of myself when I put the bottle down for good.  For a long time I did not like what I saw.  But it was necessary to see what alcohol had done to me.  Overtime, I got to know myself and eventually I began to like what I saw.  This is when the desire to drink started to finally diminish.  Giving up alcohol is damn hard.  Dying a drunk is worse!  

Hours from death

What appeared to be my final hours turned out to be my final drink.  That was on August 10th, 1995.  To have ended my life would not have ended my alcoholism.  RUN as fast as you can from your next drink and follow me to the world of permanent sobriety.  This blog will not be a drunk-o-log.  It will be filled with solutions, Gods grace and hope for those who need it most!

Join me

Recovery starts here and in time will become permanent sobriety!!  Join me often for joy and a place to turn when all roads lead to drunkeness.