Ship in a bottle

Back when I drank I was a drunk in a bottle.  Everybody wondered how and why.  Eventually, I crashed and shattered.

Today I know how I got to where I am.  I give full credit to God. 

Willingness

When the drinking stopped the anger flowed!  Without the bottle I found myself unable to deal with life on life's terms.  Pride, hate, prejudice, jealousy, loneliness and anxiety just to name a few followed anger through the door, and tried to take away my sobriety.
I quickly realized if I were to remain sober, I had to be willing, to put God in charge, and trust him more than I trusted myself.  With God in charge, anger and it's ugly partners, had little power over my thoughts.  My sobriety was able to blossom and flourish!

Willingness remains a powerful coping skill in my life as a sober alcoholic. 

Friday was the worst

My desire to drink was fueled by a pocket full of cash, along with two days of freedom.  This combo of desire, money and time usually led to laughter, lunacy, blackout and remorse.  The last being the most bitter of the four.
It finally took prayer and a total surrender to God to savd me from this awful cycle of self-destruction.  God put some amazing people in my path, people who lured me away from all of that self-destruction, and for that I will always be grateful and willing to serve!

A thought

All the alcohol in the world could never equal the joy of sobriety!

A thought

Live long, live hard, let sobriety be in charge!

Responsibility

It might not be our fault that we drink the way we do, but it is our responsibility to seek the help we need to overcome our constant desire.
That responsibility should start immediately!

Coping skills

One of the greatest things I walked away from treatment and A.A. with were coping skills.  Until I discovered coping skills I didn't have a chance against the first drink.  Treatment and A.A. are not always pleasant places to be, but they are necessary, and they are excellent places to develop life saving coping skills!  

A THOUGHT...

Sobriety is what paved the way for me to find sanity.  I tried for years to find sanity in a bottle.  Little did I know that sanity existed in a place that was not visible to the drunken eye.   

24/7

For me drinking was a 24/7 affair.  I was either drinking, thinking about drinking or trying to get well after drinking.
It stands to reason that if drinking was 24/7 don't we owe our recovery the same courtesy?

I've said it before

And I will say it again and again and again!

PRAY EARLY, PRAY OFTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Ask God to remove the desire to drink from you for that day.  Ask Him to place you in the path of those who you can help, and in the path of those who can help you! 

Little boy in the window

Little boy in the window, oh so sweet.  That little boy in the window is mine.  A gift from God.  A blessing, a product of sobriety.  Little boy in the window you teach me more than I could ever learn on my own. 

God's grace took me to a place filled with so much love that fear had no place to hide.  Sobriety is more than a day without alcohol.  Sobriety is love and love is God!  

The alcoholic mind

I would have spit in your eye for no reason other than I had some extra saliva.

That was me fifteen years ago, new to recovery, alcohol no longer flowing through my system.  I found that the best way to quell the anger and fear was to put others at the front of the line.

Simply put...I was at my best when I thought of others before myself.  When I helped others and left my own needs to God.

THE BIG 50!!!!!

I turned "50" yesterday!  The big five-O!  When I was thirty-four I was certain I was living my last few weeks.  Fifty was not even on my radar.  Forty was not even in my thoughts.  Things like a wife, children, a car, a drivers license, a home, a bank account, pets, even a wallet were not something that a guy like me thought about.

You see, I had surrendered to alcohol, at the age of thirteen.  And at the age of thirty-four, I was about to wave the white flag, and call it a life.  Instead, something inside told me to surrender to God!  I gave Him my pain, confusion, rage and fear.  I tearfully asked for direction, strength and forgiveness.  In return, He gave me hope.  I still carry that hope with me today at the wonderful age of fifty.

God is great!  God is good!  God has allowed me to live a life that alcohol viciously attempted to end.
  

A THOUGHT...

The longest journey I ever took lasted twenty-one years.  That is how long it took me to get up on my knees and ask God to remove that horrible, destructive desire to drink.

You are never to low to take a knee and talk to God.

To drink or not to drink...

To drink or not to drink?  To win or lose?  Eat or starve?  Laugh or cry?  Choke or breathe?  Work or waste?  Hope or hurt?  Joy or pain?  Friends or foe?  

To live or die is the real question question.  That question rests upon our willingness to go to God with our drinking troubles.

A prayer unanswered

There came a moment when the effects of my constant drinking were so painful that I prayed to God to die.  Fortunately that prayer went unanswered.  My desire to drink died.  My fear and constant worry died.  And, over the years, my anger died as well.

God knows exactly what He is doing, even when we don't.

End alcohol, not yourself

To end myself would not have ended my alcoholism.  Loved ones would have been eternaly sad and distraught.  I would have forever been viewed as a cold statistic.  The laughter of sweet children would have never existed. 

Today, I live a life of health, joy and well-being.  Alcohol has been absent from my daily routine for over a decade and a half.  The laughter of children and love from a wonderful wife is a gift I never could have imagined as a hopeless drunk.

End alcohol this minute and discover what awaits you in the realm of sobriety.       

I looked in the mirror

The most painful moment of my life happened when I looked into the mirror and saw myself as others had seen me for years.  For the first time I saw an alcoholic.  As painful as that moment was it only meant, that the healing had begun. 

A word about healing.  IT DOESN'T ALWAYS TICKLE!!

I see my ego...

I see my ego floating in a bottle of booze and I know something has got to change.  Unfortunately, that something is me!!

Sometimes the worst enemy we alcoholics have is ourselves.  It takes the compassion, heart and eye opening honesty of others to get us through recovery.

A sober thought...

The memory of my best drunk does little to disrupt the current joy within my heart!

A sober thought...

Forgive yourself, deny the bottle and love all who cross your path.

Before and after

Alcohol meant the world to me.

The weight of the world upon my shoulders does little to shake my sobriety.

The eyes of a child

My two children were born long after I sobered up.  They will never know me as a drunk.  And I, will never know them, as children of a drunken father.

My past is a collection of broken dreams, broken bottle and broken hearts.  My future is a dry run going for broke.

With God the sky is the ultimate limit.

Here's to hope!

Without alcohol I am so much more than the bottle ever allowed me to realize. 

I HOPE you realize what I am trying to say.

Big plans?

When every plan, scheme, hope or dream fails isn't time to give your plans to God?  I will if you will.

Drinking and driving

I am ashamed to admit it, but I have driven drunk over a thousand times.  Many in a blackout!  My drunk driving was a mechanical means of getting to that all important next drink.  I cared about nothing and no one while on my way to that next drink.

If you care, then please do not drink and drive.
If you do not care, then you ARE PROBABLY DRUNK.
Alcohol kills, because we alcoholics, allow it to do whatever it wants, whenever it wants to!

A formula

Prayer, fellowship, inspiration, gratitude, glory, praise, worship.  This is just some of the formula that allows sobriety to happen.  This is what I wanted to hear least when my drinking was at it's worst. 

What we least want to hear, is what we need to listen to the most.  

A THOUGHT

God heals, drinking kills and in between fear cripples.

Look out below

Each drink we take, leads us closer to a bottom so low, that only hell can exist below the depths, of our worst drunk.

It takes time

It takes some people a lot longer to heal.