A broken soul

A broken soul for me was a severed relationship with God.    When I drank women came easy and alcohol was cheap.  My behavior and actions took their toll on my soul.  The pain I ultimately experienced on the inside could not be eased by all of the women and alcohol in the world.

If you must

Go out and be who you are.  And when you are done, be who God intended you to be!

Regrets

Alcohol robs us of so many wonderful moments.  It cheats and steals away memories that were intended to last for a lifetime.  In January of 1986,I decided to go out and get drunk instead of watching Superbowl XX with my dad.  For two weeks we had planned on watching the Chicago Bears destroy the New England Patriots.  The Bears did not disappoint.  My dad was glued to the television the entire game.  However,an hour or so before the game I got the urge.  Alcohol came calling and I obeyed. 

I have always regretted not being able to spend that evening with my dad as he cheered on his favorite pro sports team.  It was not the first and it would not be the last of many regrets and disappointments that were a product of my weakness and the overwhelming power that alcohol had on me.

Alcohol robs and destroys.  It's soothing effects only last a few hours but it's sting and remorse linger for decades on end!      

ONE drink

My sobriety is your sobriety.  It is ONE drink that separates us.  ONE drink that divides misery and peace.  ONE drink means remorse or joy.  ONE drink can ultimately determine life or death.

That ONE drink is the first drink and it is the one that we need to overcome and eliminate.      

What's up with that!

Making the same mistake over and over again is called ALCOHOLISM.  Friday night would come and go and along with it went my entire paycheck.  That was just one of many things that caused me painful remorse each and every Monday morning. 

I once estimated (conservatively) that throughout my 22 years of drinking I spent about $180,000 on alcohol!  That's a lot of potatoes!!!

Hide and seek

Under the influence is where I hid for over two decades.  It wasn't until I found myself trapped between life and death that I decided to give recovery a try.  Above the influence is where I now fight my battles.  I got here because of recovery and the grace of God.

Choose

Did alcohol choose me or did I choose alcohol?  I do remember that feelings of pain and inadequacy were nicely extinguished by my first experience with alcohol.  The soothing effects would quickly control who I was and how I functioned by day and by night.

I suppose that in the beginning alcohol found me but I did everything I could to make sure that alcohol never let me out of it's sight.  The choice to finally divorce alcohol was not a choice but a form of survival and  instinct.  The instinct to remain alive and never again be tormented by alcohol and it's blind fury. 

The ingredients needed to make sobriety

Prayer got me sober and prayer has kept me sober.  Doing more for others than I do for myself.  A personal relationship with God.  And a massive dose of honesty and the end of each day.

Alcohol ruled

I helped myself to what ever I pleased courtesy of the bottle.  Without the aid of remorse I would have never known anything was wrong!

Get there and stay there

Get into recovery NOW!  Get into recovery and stay there no matter hard it becomes or how long it takes.  Recovery is not only a place where we stay for a short duration of time.  It is a frame of mind, a temporary way of life, a spiritual awakening and a time to heal.  But the most important thing to remember is recovery is the only way to get to sobriety.

Born under the influence

Sobering up today will not only change your life forever, but it could eventually help sober somebody up who has yet to be born.

All men...

All men are sinners, but not all men are drinkers.  We tend to have enough challenges in our daily lives without puting alcohol into the mix and making things worse.

When in recovery...

Act as if you have already made it!  On a sunny day act as if.  On a cloudy day act as if.  All the strength you will ever need comes from God.  Daily prayer will take you to Him.

Who I am?

Way back when I never knew who I was until I slammed back a few drinks.  My existence and self-image hinged on my next drink along with the size of my most recent drunk.  The sadness of each day was my dependence on a substance which was completely foreign and offensive to my soul.  

Honesty

If we cannot be completely honest about our drinking problem at days end then drunkenness is certain within 24 hours.

Who is to blame?

 A walk without purpose can only be called wandering.  We acquire that walk when we submit to the drunkenness of the bottle.  Days so long, nights so short and our lives will forever be a constant blur. 

Blame it on the bottle.  Blame it on the bottle.  In the end we suffer the most.

Prayer

When motivation and inspiration abandon you call on prayer to get you through.

Prayer

Prayer is a powerful coping skill that available twenty-four hours a day for the rest of your life.

Recovery is...

Recovery is the long road that takes you far away from drunkenness.

I'm too sober...

I'm too sober NOT to care about your recovery.  Let me know how I can help
jaysdesk@jaykolo.com

The truth about cats and dogs...

The truth about cats and dogs is they would never drink and drive.  Their loyalty far exceeds their selfish needs.

Drinking and driving

Driving drunk over a thousand times is still the most shameful part of my life.  If you drink and drive and get away with it you still lose eventually.   

The truth about quiting

The truth about quiting is that alcohol turned me into a quitter.  I quit countless jobs and relationships.  I even quit on myself.  The only thing I could not quit was ALCOHOL itself.  Alcohol takes away every fiber of our strength, will power, reasoning and courage.  In the end alcohol ruled and dominated my life.  It called the shots.  That is why a spiritual fix was the only escape from complete self-destruction. 

My brand of vodka

My brand of vodka was chaos, self-destruction, wandering aimlessly and long periods of depression and hopelessness.  If this does not sound that appealing to you give sobriety a try.

Examine the contents

We need to realize that hope, courage and common sense do not pour from the bottle.

THANK YOU

Thank you for helping me by allowing me to help you!  That is what true sobriety is all about.

Just don't drink!

Sometimes your life is going to be plain ugly.  On those days the best you can do is put your hands in your pocket, shut your mouth and just don't drink!!

It may no be a thing of beauty, but it works, and it keeps you away from the bottle.  The day after is usually a very good day.  Hang tough everybody.

Up to the challenge

My life as of late has been full of challenges.  God it seems is really testing me.  Because I no longer rely on the bottle to get me through, I am confident, I can overcome whatever challenges I might face.

Hope

Without hope the bottle has all of the power.  Hope can most often be found on your knees.

Sobriety

Recovery is just a prayer away.  After that the long journey towards sobriety begins.  I'll send you a postcard when I arrive.  The journey so far has been magnificent!!

King

I come from a world where I made alcohol king.  I gave alcohol absolute power.  It controlled and consumed me.  It picked me up and slammed me down.  I turned my back on it only to come crawling back everytime.  It chased away everyone I ever loved.  I adored it's power and worshipped it's soothing bliss.  I awoke one day from a twenty year drunk and realized that my life was in ruin and my king had betrayed me. 

Only the love and mercy of a true king could bring me back to my original journey.  That king was my creator.  That creator was God.

The struggle

My struggle became my salvation.  My time in darkness became my testimony which leads others away from the dark and into the light.  My fight in recovery is what gave me the muscle I needed to fend off the bottle when it attempted to push me around.

Embrace the challenges that rock you while in recovery.  Alcohol will hate you for it!

SIN

Sin is enslaving and alcohol abuse is one of sin's strongest shackles!