Did alcohol choose me or did I choose alcohol? I do remember that feelings of pain and inadequacy were nicely extinguished by my first experience with alcohol. The soothing effects would quickly control who I was and how I functioned by day and by night.
I suppose that in the beginning alcohol found me but I did everything I could to make sure that alcohol never let me out of it's sight. The choice to finally divorce alcohol was not a choice but a form of survival and instinct. The instinct to remain alive and never again be tormented by alcohol and it's blind fury.
