In the beginning

Those few days in a regular hospital were days of leisure.  Three tasty meals, a clean bed and friendly staff.  When they informed me I was being sent to a long term treatment facility my heart sank and the alcoholic in me took over.  Suddenly the fear of killing myself disappeared.  I actually thought I could make it in the regular world despite my obsession with alcohol.  Recovery and sobriety all of a sudden seemed like a bad idea.  I knew I had the option of signing myself out against medical advice.  Every single brain cell urged me to do so.  Then, I thought to myself, that all of those brain cells had long since been under direct orders from the boss himself.  That boss was alcohol!